Very proud of myself for getting this out on time considering how busy things have been lately. If you just tuned in please go back and start with Age 19.
If I were to put a word on this age it would be random. Random as in, everything was all over the place and every decision was a bit neurotic and impulsive. I was finally confident enough to be myself again but at this point the person I was and wanted to be were slightly different. I wanted to be smarter so I read more. I wanted to be prettier so I worked out and started penciling my eyebrows. I wanted to be more confident in my looks so I handed out a number awkwardly once or twice. I forced myself to act more extroverted in the hopes of discovering myself again. I even went through a blond period that thankfully only lasted a few months.
Overall it was a great year. I attended my first SCBWI Children book Conference in NYC. It was incredible and beyond expectation. I worked a ton as a house cleaner/ Waitress at a Chinese restaurant and Illustrator. By the end of the year I had the courage to explore my stomach health which eventually turned into me disowning my father. Random I know but after a lifetime of feeling unwanted and unworthy, the realization hit that I would never be enough for this one person. It finally became too much and I knew I deserved better. Due to health issues i'll always be there for him because its not in my nature to abandon that relationship. But that year I accepted I had no father. It was incredibly painful and relieving at the same time.